« Après avoir prié beaucoup, j’ai fini par comprendre que l’homme complet, le vrai homme, digne d’être montré par Pilate à la multitude vile, devait être une combinaison de puissance et de douceur, et je n’ai pas méprisé les Larmes de Notre-Seigneur Jésus-Christ, lesquelles ont autant fait pour notre salut que l’effusion de son Sang.
C’est dans ces larmes, uniquement, que j’ai puisé la vigueur presque surhumaine qu’il m’a fallu pour tant souffrir, pour accepter l’existence la plus effroyable, pour ne jamais cesser d’être debout au pied de la Croix, dans les ténèbres, dans la déréliction et dans les tortures. » — léon bloy, journal, 10 juin 1892
recently i saw Pierrot le fou, a french movie by Godard, and wanted to talk about it here because it has such a bookish aesthetic!! i really loved the actors, the characters, and how the story evolves from a will to espace society to an inevitable escape of one’s self, when confronted with the spontaneity and unpredictable traits of “real” life. i found the movie to be very unpredictable too, here to paint this type of life and to show freedom, but also to show us the limit of a life that never allows us to settle down. i definitely should watch it again sometime, in order to grasp more of the movie’s essence, but i still loved it and def recommend seeing it!
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« mais ce qui me rend triste, c’est que la vie et le roman c’est différent... Je voudrais que ce soit pareil... clair, logique, organisé,... mais ça ne l’est pas. »
“Men suck. That’s my thesis.” — said Nina from @youmeher, a tv series featuring polyamourous, bi and gay people, plus said Nina, my ultimate crush. i just finished watching season 3 and her character development is SO on point! definitely recommend watching this show (even though it’s very white).
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today i finished my first assignment (i have like 5 left for december), i’m really happy about it and loved working on Anatole France’s “The Gods will have blood”. i also did my laundry, and i should also do my dishes before eating in front of Outlander’s last episode ♡ i hope you’re all starting your weekend well, i’m starting to have less and less classes and am planning on studying (obv) for my assignments but also for my master thesis, which i let sit for a while because of lack of time. have a great weekend! ✨
« Pour moi je ne suis pas celui qui dit le nom de quelque chose. Au-dessous d’une vague au point de crouler, dans ce creux pareil à l’orbite, à peine un souffle m’est laissé, et quel est donc le mot qu’entre les millions de mots, les millions de murmures, les innombrables perplexités de l’idée, va choisir à cette grappe d’écume, au cerisier bleu de la mer, ma bouche ivre peut-être d’un baiser, et folle, et libre étrangement, et à moi-même étrangère, ma bouche ce mystère qui mord infiniment le monde aérien, quel est le mot qui me résume, ô dérision, et dont je meurs ? » — aragon, le paysan de paris
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so i just finished reading this book and i’m finally back on bookstagram! i love Aragon deeply, i loved him with Aurélien and i love him with this collection of thoughts and reflections. he has a quite unique view on the world, was once part of the french surrealist movement — before being ejected from it because he wanted to write novels, a form that was prohibited by André Breton. this things i love the most about this author are his powerful and wonderful writing style, along with his views on love, one of the most, if not the most, important subjects of his novel Aurélien, that he briefly adresses in Le Paysan de Paris.
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about me: this past week it has been kinda hard for me to focus on my classes and studies, november is always tricky for me because for some reason it gives me this urge to change everything in my life. but more seriously, i’ve been thinking about my plans for the future, or more like rethinking about them. i feel like i’ve been rushing into a single academic path, forgetting about some dreams i had for some time now: living abroad, especially in Florence (i recently developed an obsession for NYC as well), learning Russian, working to earn my own money, and so on. i just don’t want to get stuck in France for the rest of my life, which will probably be the case if i pursue with the plan i had until now. however, i decided that i will first finish my master degree, and then figure out what to do, because i still love studying literature and writing essays and stuff. so i guess that’s all for the update? kinda messy as usual
« Dieu merci, lune, tu as cessé d’être lune, et c’est peut-être par inadvertance, ô toi qu’on nommait lune, que je continue à t’appeler lune. » — kafka, ‘conversation with the drunken man’ (this is an approximate translation)
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currently studying at my uni’s library (what a surprise), just got out of class and i have another lolita commentary to prepare! i have to analyse Charlotte’s confession and love letter to Humbert and i can assure you that Nabokov has read Laclos’ Dangerous Liaisons, i mean, it seems quite obvious to me. i love Dangerous Liaisons so much, i’m probably going to centre my whole analysis on this parallel — but, again, i do want to specialize in comparative literature so this is still not a big surprise. however, today was so productive, i did all the things i couldn’t bring myself to do yesterday (or since monday, really) and it feels great not to be a larva anymore (for the moment, at least.)
“They were just words, soundless, like print on a page. Just words, but they ripped the hole wide open” — stephenie meyer, new moon
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i’m so happy with how today went (and also about my life rn but that’s another subject i just... love my life... anyways) ; i managed to study for my literature & cinema class (i have a paper to write for this class and i chose to work on Pronin’s adaptation of Tolstoy’s Cossacks), i started unpacking my books (there are... so many...), cleaned my apartment, did yoga, started watching PLL season 6 and f i n a l l y this show is getting gooood i can’t believe i had to wait five whole seasons for that ; anyway, i also started editing my next youtube video (october bits&pieces, my fav videos to edit) and i hope you’re all doing well 🌸 this one-week holiday was great and i’m glad i get to go back to class tomorrow (even though it means i have to dress up correctly instead of staying in my pajamas all day lmao don’t tell anybody) 📚
so today i finallyyy got a desk and if my feed doesn’t get better now i don’t know what else i could do. i worked (again) on my lolita commentary and it’s still very interesting, i went through a few articles for my other classes and i also started to organize next week (yes i’m always two days ahead). tomorrow i’ll try to finish my commentary but also edit my next youtube video and do all the sunday stuff (cleaning, yoga, all the good self care things) 💫 i’m so happy lmao my desk is real cute and i can’t wait to be next week already, i missed going to class and studying at the library 📚 also this week’s bullet journal spread looked cute so here are some pics of it! hope you had a great halloween btw, now time for christmas 🎄
